Sued51's Blog

{February 7, 2018}   Screwed Up Love

It seems I am often not patient enough to let poems percolate. Sometimes I just feel like I want to move on to something that is more relevant to my present time; after all I just keep writing more and more, and there is just so much paper!! I have been desperately trying to go through them all and put all the versions of the same poems into file folders. Another step in my never-ending efforts to consolidate and simplify.

As part of this process, I have donated a lot of clothes, books, household items, even jewelry — but not these, never these — my screw in, screwed-up love earrings.

Spiral Earrings

Lots of Screwed up Love

I was your rebound girl,
the quick intermission in the drawn-out drama
of your epic love for her.
But I couldn’t see that then.

You were that guy
across the room,
my dark handsome romance hero.
I was drawn to you
like I was to rocks when I was a child:
I loved holding them
because they felt solid,
yet could contain crystals
or layers of color
if broken open.

You soon went back to her,
and instead I had to break
my all-encompassing love for you
into manageable pieces:
I buried the jealousy and resentment,
safeguarded the memories
and held onto our friendship
dear as a first stuffed toy.

Ten years later
I let go;
I married someone
who forced me to deny
my need for you,
grow up, leave you behind.

Thirty years later, minus the husband,
I wish I could glue it all back together,
embrace the whole.
I pull out the Christmas card
you gave me when we were still
an open possibility, a hollow geode.

You had signed the card, “Lots of screwed up love.”
Back then I had clung desperately to the word, “love”
not connecting it to the gift that came with it —
a pair of unusual earrings –
crazy spirals that wound
into my earlobes,
impossible to lose without
being ripped out;
just as the shards of your smile and laugh
twisted themselves into my heart,
and embedded there.
Now I know “love”
was not the important word:
“screwed up” was.

{February 3, 2014}   Weekly Photo Challenge: Object

My mother just gave me this “object” full of objects. 🙂

Egg Carton

Okay, you say…it’s an egg carton.

We opened it and this is what we saw.

Old Jewelry

The egg box was used as a way to keep my grandmother’s jewelry together and fairly organized. Newspaper was stuffed in the top to protect it. My grandmother died in 2001, across the country; my mother must have packed it up this way for the drive back to MA (she doesn’t like to fly).

When we found it, she didn’t comment on it or tell me a story; she saw it as a bunch of junk jewelry. To me it’s vintage, to her it is dated. As I was supposed to get my grandmother’s jewelry, she gave it to me.

I examined them all. Some I can’t picture wearing, but there were a couple of pairs of earrings I thought were pretty (in an old fashioned way) and a couple of interesting pins. (I don’t have a macro len so it was very difficult to try to take the small things clearly so forgive me for the blurriness.)

I wore the little bowling pin the other day because I thought it was neat. My friend sent me the name and web site of a local woman who takes old jewelry and creates new pieces out it. I’m thinking that’s what I’ll do with most of the rest.

It’s fun to wear a piece of the past. People make art out of such things. A woman I know makes jewelry out of old china: you can check out her work here.

et cetera
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