Sued51's Blog











{April 30, 2014}   A Life of Irony

I am always reading personal development and inspirational blogs and books. I’ve tried meditation, visualization, and spirituality, and still I can’t figure out what my life’s purpose is and what I was meant to do. (PLEASE…THIS STATEMENT IS NOT AN INVITATION TO BLOGGERS OUT THERE WHO WANT ME TO JOIN THEIR PYRAMID SCHEME OF MAKING MONEY BLOGGING! I DON’T BELIEVE IN IT SO DON’T TRY TO HOOK ME.)

To bring God into it, I continue to be baffled by what he wants from me, I seem to be deaf to his messages in my life. My proof of this? My life is always full of irony. The moment I finally, after an agonizingly long time, make a decision, I am faced with an ironic response. Or my timing is off…things just don’t seem to work out.

Barricades

Barricades

My proof in point today: My to-do list had included the task — “make business cards” — for quite a while. My purpose was to use them as a tool to pick up freelance editorial work. But I wasn’t getting around to it. I finally decided to enlist the help of a friend’s daughter who is studying graphic design: good practice for her and assistance for me. On the front of the card I would advertise my services and on the back, my blogs. I finally spent the money and got them printed a couple of weeks ago.

And what happened in the meantime? One of the printers near me where I had planned to drop off a card and resume just laid off a large number of people. I was told by someone who works there…don’t bother…they won’t want your services…no work. I have been so busy working extra hours at my part-time job for the last month, as well as working on a freelance editing job and another part-time job, I have barely been able to visit my blogging community or produce blog posts. Result? Dead blog. JUST WHEN I PRINTED MY CARDS TO ADVERTISE. And now, a full-time job offer is on the table after I have been scrambling to pay my bills for a while…Although the job doesn’t involve what I THINK my talents are, I feel like I have to take it for financial stability.

What’s the message my readers? Is God telling me to give up my dreams and passion because it is not part of his plan for me or is he testing me? Based on the reading I have done, if you are following the path you are meant to follow, it will be smooth and easy. It won’t feel like constant barricades are being placed in your path. Or have I got that wrong?

I know that some of you manage to work full-time and still produce blog posts, but that doesn’t seem to be something I’m able to do. Is God it making a correction to my path or am I deluded as to what my talents are and what my purpose is?

I will move forward with the hope that there is a future I can’t foresee. In the meantime, I will try to post when I can. I’ve put 4 years into this…what’s another barricade?

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soonie2 says:

First of all, the path, like life, is never easy but anything worthwhile is worth fighting for! Maybe you could just blog a bit less until you get into your full time work schedule and see how things go. I hope you don’t give it up completely…I would miss you!

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sued51 says:

Thanks, Soonie. A friend suggested that I schedule a certain day to work on blogs. I have read where other bloggers say that they find a block of time and write several blogs at a time and then post them when they can. That kind of rules out The Daily Prompts. I am going to try that method…I can’t give up now!

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cathylass says:

Take the job, even for just a short time. If you’re worried about the bills it will take that pressure off, and you’ll be much happier. Time will come when you can either quit beacuse the bills aren’t a worry, or because something better, and more suitable, comes along. 😀

God has no purpose for you. This might sound depressing to some, but it’s not. Really! If you’re a good human being, then I think that is enough to please the creator. All this bullocks “we’re made in his image” – I turn on the telly and all I see is destruction, murder and nastiness. I doubt it very much if that’s “in his image”, or anyone with any purpose. I think we’re more like pets… if my cats are good and don’t fight, kill, or purposely hurt anyone – then they will always be my beloved little angels. I have no demands of them, I have no expections of them. I love them, even when they’re naughty… 😉

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sued51 says:

My friends said the same thing you said in your first paragraph, Cathy…I am going to do it. There are so many things I need and have been doing without for a while; one of my shoes blew out last week…the sole came right off. 🙂
I do the best I can to be a good person every day, but I want to make a difference…that’s my dilemma to figure out. 🙂

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cathylass says:

Glad you’ll take the job. 😀 Even though it’s not ideal, it will give you peace of mind, which is just about as important as things can get… and something else will come along at some point, and by then you will be in a better place.

You do make a difference! We cannot all save the world. 😉 Just by taking the job you will make a difference… you will be happier with less financial pressure, and you being happier will make a difference to everyone that cares for you! Everyone makes a difference every day, it’s just up to us if we make that difference good or bad for others.

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sued51 says:

Great attitude and thoughts, Cathy! Thanks for the support. 🙂

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I know it is a juggle. Believe me, my heart yearns to blog and read blogs. I love it. It has been almost 5 years. At times my breaks are pretty long but I do what I can. I know you will too and everyone will understand. No worries.

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sued51 says:

Angelia,
I needed a few days to process the change. I WILL figure out a way, even if I post only once in a while, like you. A writer and reader HAS to write and read…it is like food to us. 🙂

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Chi up ole gal. Life’s a journey. Relax and enjoy the ride. Can you post a snapshot of your business card?

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oops. I meant chin up. 😦 But chi is good too. 🙂

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sued51 says:

I knew what you meant, Janna, but I liked it…we all want good chi! 🙂

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sued51 says:

Janna,
I can post the blog side…I don’t want to post my phone number on line (maybe I can cover it up…)

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Jo Bryant says:

Glad to hear you are taking the job. As one who constantly struggles financially, I know what it feels like to stress over money. This will at least reduce that. And having some extra cash may open up new possibilities for both blogging and getting a foot in the editorial world. You could get an app to put your blog on your phone for example. The maybe when you are out sipping a coffee at a cafe…take some photos and post them with a few words. Taking a walk in a park…snap and post. Find you are inspired to write something…do it on the way to work on your phone. I also use my phone to check out blogs sometimes with the reader. But Sue…if you don’t have time for blogging as much that’s okay too. There are seasons to everything…maybe this is your winter. But spring will come around again…we will all be here waiting for you. Everyone of us have had times where blogging time is reduced. You will find a way to make it work. It is just that change of any sort is scary.

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sued51 says:

Jo, thanks for your extensive, well-thought out comment. I’m good now…I feel a sense of relief to some extent. I will find a way to keep blogging and fit in the things that mean something to me. I probably won’t post as much, but I won’t give up. I love your comment about the seasons…it’s okay for it to be winter for me for awhile (although I just got through a literal winter that was killer). I would miss you all without having time to read what you are up to. But I’ll do my best. Change is good, just not comfortable at times. 🙂

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Jo Bryant says:

Change is never comfortable…but that is the good part Sue. Sometimes we need to be uncomfortable to be our best.

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Sonel says:

Don’t feel alone Sue. Believe me, I am sure there are lots of people out there who feels the same way as you do. As a mother and house-wife I am still pondering on that question. Will we ever know? Around here work is just as scarce and not worth it to try and do something from home. For some or other reason people think if you work from home your services should be very, very cheap or free. They don’t realise the labour and time you put into the work. I also have no idea how people that work full-time still find the time to produce blog posts. I know I would not be able to. Being at home and doing all the work myself, I find it difficult sometimes to even have time for myself, let alone doing blogging. There are some days when I work all day long and by the time I can sit down and relax I am so tired, I just want to go and sleep. Then of course, after that I have to take 2 days off to recooperate again because I am aching all over and can hardly walk. LOL! Tough getting old. 😀

All I can say is that you must just be easy on yourself. Live in the moment for the moment and as I am not religious at all, I don’t worry about any ‘plan’. I know I am just doing the best I can do. Luckily I did however found the time to create another blog where I can share most of my photo’s for those that want them. Some are Public domain and others are Creative commons and doing that made me happy to know that somewhere out there someone might like my images and use them for their own personal use or on their website/blog. Sharing makes me happy and making others happy makes me happy as well.

Wishing you all the best hon and know there are others just like you – struggling and trying to keep their heads above water. Thinking of you. Take care. 😀 ♥ Hugs ♥

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sued51 says:

Sonel, thanks for taking the time to comment in such a thoughtful way!
I did figure out how to “set” blogs to post on a certain day so that will be one tool I will use.
One of my faults is that I get very “grouchy” and “impatient” when I can’t get to everything I want to do…I have to work on that. 🙂
Congrats on the Creative commons project…I think it is great…and yes, it does feel good when someone likes your work enough to want to use it with theirs!

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Sonel says:

You’re very welcome Sued and that is a great way indeed. 🙂
LOL! It’s one of mine as well and then I rush to get everything done just so I can play. hahahah. Who wants to work on that? Work is no fun. LOL!

Thanks for the lovely congrats hon and I am glad you think so and yes, I agree. I do love to share. 😀

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