Sued51's Blog

{February 23, 2011}   Losing My Voice

It is usually caused by a virus or flu, but I’m not sneezing or coughing.  I feel weak and achy, but there’s nothing physically wrong.  My father’s death, the economy, world events, and a very long winter have all combined to give me an emotional flu.

I may not look ill, but my voice betrays me; it’s rough and strained.  I’m speaking too deliberately, and I have to catch my breath.  Speaking through my blog, I concentrate so hard on the grammar and not making a “mistake” that will damage my “career” that my voice is stilted and subdued.  No sense of humor comes through no matter how much I try to concentrate on funny events. What I say doesn’t matter; it’s how I say it.

People don’t want to get too close because they don’t want to catch whatever I have; I understand that and I know that I need to recover on my own. Long-lasting flu bugs require a balance between conserving strength and making some time to rest and going on with life as usual, continuing to get the necessary chores done.

There have been many years that I coughed all winter from dry, dusty inside air — when I couldn’t get my breath until spring came when I could go outside and let the sun be my WD40 and loosen my vocal cords. The achiness would go away with plenty of walking in the sun and fresh air.

I will get over this flu like any other — with time, rest, and a little babying.  I need to get my voice back; I still have a lot to say.


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