Sued51's Blog

{February 21, 2010}   Getting Older

Does getting older negate the need to apologize?  I don’t think so, and yet, reality is, as you get older you somehow feel justified in saying whatever comes to mind.  After years of trying to do and say the politically correct thing in corporate settings, I think a lot of people feel they have earned the right to finally speak their mind.  I was always the type of person that people could say anything to. I wouldn’t report them if they said something to me that was politically incorrect; I would just change the subject and try to forget about it.  If they hurt me, I wouldn’t say anything I would just go home and cry.

How many articles, books, etc have been written regarding how few true friends most people have in a lifetime?  I think it has taken me a lot of years to figure that out.  My instincts were always to feel everyone was my friend until proven otherwise.  The last few years have finally taught me that I shouldn’t immediately trust people the way I do, but also that sometimes I need to speak up despite the consequences.  I think I’ve already had a lifetime’s worth of going home to cry.

What I have learned is that you need to evaluate what the person in question means to you.  Are they someone whose respect and good will is truly important to you or just politically important?  If the person means something to you personally, it is important to apologize.  But also to understand that they may not forgive you.  If they don’t, it means you didn’t mean the same thing to them as they did to you and you have to accept that, painful as it is, and move on.

But most importantly, recognize and appreciate those with whom the respect and love is reciprocal.  When all is said and done, those are the people you will miss when you or they leave this world, and touching people’s lives is really what we’re all here for.

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