Sued51's Blog

{February 7, 2010}   Learning to Love the “Blank” Days

I’ve always had what I call “blank” days, and they have always frustrated me.  I have countless journal entries and poems about the phenomenon.  These are the days that there seems to be nothing going on in my head; it seems “empty” of ideas and empty of the usual constant “conversation” I always seem to be having with myself (what most people would call thinking). It has always made a control freak like me extremely uncomfortable.  I have tried writing through it to no avail; the idea that I can’t jumpstart my mind sets off my fears.  Is it early-onset Alzheimer’s or have I killed too many brain cells with drinking?

What I have discovered over the years is that what is really going on is the opposite of how it feels to me.  The empty, blank feeling is really a lack of focus.  There is so much going on in my head it shuts down.  It has taken a lot of life experience and journaling to recognize this and to try not to worry about it.  Like so many other things in life, I have discovered I can’t force it.  The solution is to find something physical to do and let the day go how it wants to go.  Keep away from thoughts that the day is “wasted”; my mind is telling me it needs a rest.  Sometimes it takes days or even weeks, but the state of “blankness” ALWAYS goes away.

What I have discovered is that if I am able to relax and have faith, the “empty” time will be followed by a flurry of mental activity and ideas. It is a time to anticipate the future, get excited for what is to come.  If I use the time to load up on images in magazines, do household chores, play mental games, or talk to friends, I can believe that the best ideas are likely just ahead.

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