I have known people who, when they feel depressed, reach for the sad movie or the sad song. Until recently, I have to say I didn’t really understand it. Didn’t it make you feel worse??? I wanted to ask, “Don’t you think you should be watching something uplifting to make you feel better?” I chocked it up to perhaps there being something wrong with me…a lack of a capacity to feel deeply??
But light has dawned on marble rock, as I have been known to say. I finally did it myself and understood it.
I had been feeling down and discouraged lately; almost afraid to socialize for fear that the smallest, most trivial encounter might reduce me to tears. I felt ASHAMED at my state, at my self-pity. Watching something about someone inspiring only made me feel guilty and MORE ASHAMED: I am NOT Malala. I felt fresh out of courage, devoid of strength, a sorry excuse for a human being. YIKES! I had to do something to dig myself out of that place.
And so I went to “ON DEMAND” and chose last week’s episode of “Glee,” the tribute to Cory Monteith aka “Finn.” I could embrace the sadness; the tears came (in my mind) for a young life ended too soon in more ways than one: the actor AND his character.
Who wouldn’t cry?? Are these tears of self-pity?? No…they are natural, legitimate tears (I can tell myself)…and I can get rid of them. Guilt-free tears…a novel concept for me.
Hmmm…I guess sometimes when you need a hug and there’s no one around, hugging sadness will do.